Broken King
by sofia313
Summary: AU season 8. Instead of becoming the Mad Queen, Daenerys dies during the battle of King's Landing. Jon never wanted to become a king, but now he doesn't have a choice.
1. Prologue

"All Hail Jon the Brave, First of His Name, King of the Andals and the First Men, Lord of the Six Kingdoms, Protector of the Realm!" Tyrion announced.

"All Hail Jon the Brave!" the lords and ladies in the Great Hall replied.

Jon was sitting on the Iron Throne and he had never felt more out of place. He shouldn't be here. He didn't want to be here. Once again he hoped that the whole thing was nothing more than a big misunderstanding. The doors would open and Daenerys would walk in, taking her rightful place as the Queen. Jon would be free. He could leave King's Landing and never look back.

Sadly the doors remained closed. Daenerys wasn't coming back. She was gone. Gone. Jon hadn't been able to save her. She had died protecting Drogon. The furious dragon had destroyed almost the whole Lannister army before flying away with Daenerys' body. Cersei and Jaime Lannister were dead. The war was finally over.

According to Tyrion, people needed a strong leader now more than ever before. Jon had never wanted to become that leader. Maybe his father had been a Targaryen, but Jon had never had any desire to become the King. Yet he was the King now. If he would have refused, the lords would have started to fight for power, probably causing another war.

People of Westeros had already suffered more than enough; they didn't need any more bloodshed. Tyrion had assured that the people needed a king like Jon. Jon wasn't so sure about that. He glanced at Sansa and Arya who were smiling at him. At least he had been able to give the North independence.

"Also Hail Lady Helena, our future Queen!" Tyrion continued.

"All Hail Lady Helena!"

For a moment Jon had almost forgotten the woman standing beside the Iron Throne. She had a polite smile on her face and she had greeted all the lords and ladies with kind words. If Jon wouldn't have known that she had spent the last years in a prison cell, he would have never guessed it. As Tyrion had said, she would be a perfect Queen. Her manners were flawless and she understood politics. She would be able to advice Jon.

Not to mention marrying her would help reuniting people after the long wars and many rulers. She was the only trueborn daughter of Robert Baratheon and Cersei Lannister. Yes, she should have been perfect, but Jon didn't want to marry her. How could he be a good husband after everything he had lost? Somehow he doubted that she really wanted to marry him either.

Yet they would be wed soon. She had agreed to that and Tyrion had assured Jon that it would be the smartest thing to do. Everyone needed to see that the Throne was in steady hands now. There would be no more fighting. They had won, but Jon didn't feel like a winner. He felt trapped and exhausted. The worst part was that he would remain trapped for the rest of his life. How could he ever be happy about that?


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 1**

_12 days earlier_

_"Helena? Helena?"_

_Someone was calling her name. The voice sounded somehow familiar, but she couldn't remember where she had heard it before. Everything was blurry. There was no pain. No time or place. Was she dead? Probably. She remembered banging the door, begging someone to let her out. No one had come. She had run out of food and water. Then something had hit the wall. There had been stone and dust everywhere. She had fallen on the floor, coughing. After that, nothing. She must be dead._

_"Helena? I need you to drink this."_

_She coughed as some liquid was being poured down her throat._

_"Easy now."_

_Someone stroked her hair._

_"You poor girl… I'm so sorry, I should have known…"_

_She struggled to open her eyes and finally she succeeded. The face hovering over her looked somehow familiar, but it took a moment before she recognized him._

_"Uncle Tyrion?" she muttered hoarsely._

_"Yes, I'm right here, child," he replied and touched her cheek. "You're safe now."_

_"What… What happened?"_

_"Thankfully I found you in time." Tyrion paused and pressed his lips together. "One of your mother's servants told me everything in exchange for a pardon."_

_"Everything?" Helena murmured._

_"Yes. She told me that you were never sick; your mother only said that in order to explain your absence. She kept you locked up in that tower."_

_Helena didn't reply, she still wasn't sure was this real. Maybe she was dreaming or then she was dead._

_"Mother… Where is she?"_

_Tyrion bowed his head and took her hand between his._

_"I'm sorry to tell you, but she is dead. So is Jaime."_

_Helena's eyes widened, she stared at her uncle disbelievingly._

_"Dead? How… That can't be…"_

_"It's true," Tyrion stated quietly. "I'm sorry."_

_Helena was too confused to say anything. Her mind was desperately trying to understand everything. Her mother was dead. How should that make her feel? She didn't know. She should have hated her mother. At first she had, but as days had turned into months, months into years, something had changed. She had become numb. _

_After fearing death every single day, she had stopped caring. After everything that had happened to her, she hadn't feared death anymore. What about Uncle Jaime then? Should she mourn for him? He had never wronged her, but he had never cared for her either, not the way he had cared for her siblings. Of course she knew the reason for that now, he had fathered her siblings. _

_She on the other hand had been fathered by the man Jaime had despised. When she had been a child, many people had said that she looked a lot more like a Baratheon than a Lannister. That had been the reason why her mother had never treated her the same way she treated her other children._

_"Helena?" Tyrion said after a long silence. "Are you alright?"_

_"I don't know," she replied truthfully. She glanced around her and noticed that she wasn't in the tower anymore; she was in some strange bedchamber. "Where are we?"_

_"In a guest chamber," Tyrion replied. "I'll arrange you your own chambers as soon as I can…"_

_"Wait, if my mother is dead… Who is the ruler now?"_

_Tyrion hesitated for a moment before replying._

_"How much do you know about what have happened during your imprisonment?"_

_"I… The servant who brought me food and water sometimes told me what was happening. I grieved for Tommen and Myrcella."_

_"I'm sorry," Tyrion said gently. "Did you hear about Daenerys Targaryen?"_

_"Yes. I heard she has dragons and a great army, but she went to the north."_

_"Yes, she went to fight for whole Westeros. There were creatures called White Walkers behind the great wall, they would have destroyed everything if they wouldn't have been stopped. Fortunately we stopped them."_

_"I see. Is Daenerys Targaryen the Queen now?"_

_Tyrion looked sad as he shook his head._

_"No, she… She died. Our new King is Jon Targaryen."_

_Helena frowned._

_"Who is he?"_

_"He was formerly known as Jon Snow, the bastard son of Eddard Stark. I think you met him in Winterfell years ago when we all went there with your father. Can you remember?"_

_Helena nodded, she had been just a child back then, but she did remember._

_"I believe so. Why is he called Targaryen now?"_

_"Because it turned out that he's not Eddard Stark's bastard son. His parents were Lyanna Stark and Rhaegar Targaryen."_

_"Oh…"_

_"He is a skilled soldier and a great leader; he was the Lord Commander of the Night Watch and King in the North."_

_"He sounds like a good choice for the King then, but I'm not sure if he allows me to stay here…"_

_"I have no doubt that he will," Tyrion cut in. "He is a good man and I believe you are right, he will be a good king. He just needs some guidance with politics."_

_"I'm sure you can guide him, uncle," Helena replied. She was overwhelmed by all of this. She wasn't in the tower anymore. Could she leave this room if she would want to? Did she want to leave this room? There would be people outside. Many people. Could she handle that? She wasn't sure._

_"Dear child," Tyrion said and touched her hair. "I'm so sorry I wasn't able to save you."_

_"It wasn't your fault," Helena murmured. "My mother was the one who… I would just like to know why. What was my crime?"_

_Tyrion looked tense._

_"The servant told me you were locked up after Joffrey became the King. After the rumors about your mother and Jaime started to spread. Is that true?"_

_"Yes."_

_"That makes sense. My guess is that Cersei wanted to get rid of you in case someone would claim that you are Robert's only trueborn child and therefore entitled to the Throne. She did try to get rid of all of Robert's bastards."_

_It took a while before Helena managed to reply, she felt nauseous._

_"Why didn't she just kill me?"_

_"I don't know," Tyrion replied gently. "But I'm grateful she didn't. You are the only family I have left."_

_Helena struggled in order to get into a sitting position. Tyrion helped her and handed her a goblet of water._

_"Thank you," she murmured and took careful sips. The room looked strange after she had looked at the same walls for so long. What was she supposed to do now? She felt utterly lost and hopeless._


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 2**

_8 days earlier_

_"Come in," Jon's voice said after Tyrion had knocked on the door. There were two guards standing in front of the door, they had both greeted Tyrion respectfully. Jon's Kingsguard wasn't complete yet, but Brienne was currently recruiting more suitable men._

_"Your Grace," Tyrion greeted Jon as he entered the King's private chambers._

_Jon was sitting at the desk, reading some papers. Ghost was lying on the floor beside the desk; he lifted his head and lazily observed Tyrion._

_"Tyrion," Jon murmured, keeping his eyes on the papers. "What can I do for you?"_

_He sounded tired and judging by his messy hair, he hadn't bathed for a while. Tyrion also noticed that Jon had been drinking._

_"I have some news, Your Grace," Tyrion replied, keeping his voice free from emotion. "As we agreed, I have arranged food and shelter for the people who lost their homes during the battle and I have instructed Bronn to arrange funds for rebuilding the destroyed parts of the city. Some people have already begun the work and I suggest we arrange them lumber and other building materials."_

_"Yes," Jon murmured. "That sounds good. Anything else?"_

_"Actually yes. I would like to ask is everything alright?"_

_Jon tensed a bit before replying._

_"Why wouldn't it be?"_

_"Forgive me, Your Grace, I was only wondering if there is anything I can do to help you?"_

_Jon sighed and finally looked at Tyrion. He was even paler than usually and he had dark circles under his eyes._

_"Everything is fine, Tyrion. I haven't slept well, that's all."_

_"Perhaps you should get some rest then?"_

_"I don't have time," Jon sighed. "There are so many things I need to do…"_

_"Jon," Tyrion cut in. "You have me and the small council; we are here to help you. Even kings need their rest."_

_Jon was quiet for a long while before replying._

_"I'm not sure if I can do this," he murmured._

_"You can," Tyrion assured. "I know you can. I have seen how much your men respect you; you will be a good king."_

_"I never wanted to be a king."_

_"I know," Tyrion replied. "I'm afraid we all have our burden to bear."_

_Jon nodded tiredly._

_"Yes, yes, you're right. And I believe I do need some rest."_

_"I believe so too. Sleep well, Jon, I shall see you later."_

_"Thank you. Oh, how is Lady Helena? I was outraged when I heard what had happened to her."_

_Tyrion pressed his lips together._

_"She… She is recovering."_

_"I'm glad to hear that. Let me know if there is anything I can do to help."_

_"I will, thank you. I assume she is welcome to stay here?"_

_"Yes, of course, why wouldn't she be?"_

_Tyrion cleared his throat._

_"Well…"_

_Jon frowned._

_"You don't really believe that I would harm her, do you?"_

_"No, I don't, but she was a bit concerned. Her father didn't exactly treat his predecessor's family with kindness."_

_"Well, please let her know that she has nothing to fear. As long as I am the King, she will be safe here."_

_"Thank you, I will tell her."_

_Tyrion was lost in his thoughts as he left Jon's chamber. It was clear that Jon needed more support. He had charisma and he was an excellent military leader and a strategist, but he was also a bit…rough. That could cause problems with southern lords and ladies. Tyrion believed that Jon could easily get the commoners' support, but he also needed the nobles behind him._

_The problem was that socializing wasn't one of Jon's strengths. He was more like the quiet and gloomy type. What he needed was a wife who would balance him. Someone who knew how to deal with the nobles. It had been clear from the beginning that Jon needed a queen, but so far Tyrion hadn't dared to bring that up. They were all still mourning for Daenerys, especially Jon._

_Unfortunately they had a kingdom to rule, they needed to put their personal problems aside. What the people needed right now was stability. Tyrion headed to the guest chamber where Helena was staying when the thought suddenly hit him. The answer was so obvious. Who would be a better queen for Jon than the daughter of the previous king?_

_No one could deny that Helena really was Robert's daughter. She was a Baratheon as well as a Lannister. Tyrion hurried to the guest chamber and knocked before opening the door. Helena was standing in front of the window, looking outside. She was barefoot and she was wearing a nightgown._

_"Hello," Tyrion greeted her. "How are you feeling?"_

_"Better," she replied. "I took a bath."_

_"That's good. Have you eaten?"_

_She nodded._

_"Yes."_

_"Good, good." Tyrion paused and walked over to the sofa. "Please, come. I would like to have a word with you."_

_Helena looked cautious as she approached the sofa._

_"Do you have bad news?"_

_"No, no, nothing like that. Please, sit."_

_She obeyed and looked at him cautiously._

_"So," Tyrion started. "Have you been outside of this room already?"_

_Helena bit her bottom lip; a flush was rising in her cheeks._

_"I… I'm trying, uncle, but…"_

_"You can't stay here forever," Tyrion stated gently but firmly._

_"I know. I just…"_

_Tyrion took her hand between his own._

_"Helena, look at me. You're strong; I know you can do this."_

_She nodded._

_"I'll try harder, I promise."_

_"Good girl. I spoke with the King by the way; he wanted you to know that you're more than welcome to stay here."_

_"Oh… That's nice to hear, but…"_

_"What?"_

_She sighed._

_"I don't know what I am supposed to do here."_

_"Well…" Tyrion started, trying to choose his words carefully. "Actually, there is something I would like to talk about with you. Something that concerns your future."_

_"My future?"_

_"Yes. Our new king is a good man, as I told you, but he also has a lot to learn. He wasn't raised as a noble, so as you can imagine, he will need guidance and advice about dealing with nobles."_

_Helena nodded._

_"Yes, I suppose he will. It's good he has you."_

_"He needs more than that. He needs a queen who can help him."_

_"Yes, I'm sure he will have no problem finding a suitable wife…"_

_"I have a perfect candidate in mind," Tyrion cut in. "You."_

_Helena's eyes widened, she looked shocked._

_"What?"_

_"You, my dear, are a perfect queen for him. A daughter of a Baratheon and a Lannister. You can help him to reunite the people of Westeros…"_

_"No."_

_"Helena…"_

_"No."_

_She clenched her fists; all color had left her cheeks. Tyrion observed her for a moment before continuing._

_"Helena, what your mother did to you was horrible and I know you have suffered, but so has everyone else. I ask you to at least consider this; you could do so much good. You could help many people. People who have lost their homes, their husbands, wives, sons, daughters, mothers, fathers…"_

_"I can't," she muttered. "I'm sorry, but I can't."_

_"What worries you? A marriage itself or a marriage with Jon? He is a good man, I assure you, he won't mistreat you…"_

_"No." She paused and stood up. "I'm sorry, uncle, but I can't."_

_She walked over to the window, still clenching her fists. Tyrion understood that pressuring her right now would do no good. She needed time to process this and hopefully she would eventually make a right choice._


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 3**

_7 days earlier_

_Helena looked at the door and took a deep breath. She could do this. Of course she could, all she needed to do was walk over to the door, open it and step outside. What could be easier? Yet her legs refused to move. What was wrong with her? After being locked up for so long, she was finally free. The door wasn't locked; she could leave this room whenever she wanted to. _

_Why haven't she done that then? What was stopping her? She wasn't sure. All she knew was that she was afraid. She was also ashamed of herself for being so weak. As Uncle Tyrion had said, she certainly wasn't the only one who had suffered. There were countless of people who had been through much worse than her. She was weak and pathetic._

_"My lady?"_

_Helena startled as she suddenly heard her maid's voice, she had forgotten that she wasn't alone._

_"Is everything alright?" the maid called Mena asked._

_"Not really," Helena murmured. She knew she shouldn't say that, but she was too tired to pretend anything. Her uncle's visit had upset her so badly that she had barely slept at all last night. A marriage… No. That would never happen. She couldn't do that, not with the new king or with anyone else._

_"Is there anything I can do, my lady?" Mena asked._

_Helena turned to look at the maid. She was a pretty girl who had curly red hair, brown eyes and freckles on her face._

_"Yes. I… I would like to get dressed."_

_"Of course, my lady."_

_Helena had worn a nightgown the whole time she had been in this room. Uncle Tyrion had brought her couple of beautiful gowns, but she hadn't wanted to get dressed. The clothes she had worn in the tower had been modest; she hadn't worn a gown for a very long time. Right now she wanted to feel like her old self again. Maybe that would help her to overcome her fears. Mena helped her to get dressed and started brushing her long brown hair._

_"How long have you worked here, Mena?" Helena asked after a moment of silence._

_"Almost three years, my lady."_

_"Do you have family?"_

_The girl nodded._

_"Yes, my mother lives in King's Landing."_

_"Is she alright? I mean, the battle and…"_

_"She lost her son," Mena replied quietly. "My brother. And her home."_

_"I'm so sorry," Helena said._

_"Thank you, my lady."_

_"Is there anything I can do to help?"_

_"I'm grateful for this opportunity, my lady; I can help my mother with my earnings. I was a chambermaid; I've never served a lady before you, but many maids left Red Keep or…died."_

_Again Helena understood how much suffering there was all around her. What right did she have to complain?_

_"Well, you are doing great."_

_Mena smiled._

_"Thank you, my lady."_

_Helena hesitated for a moment before continuing._

_"I assume you know who my parents were."_

_"Yes, my lady, of course."_

_"I also assume you have heard some rumors about me."_

_A flush was rising in Mena's cheeks._

_"I…"_

_"It's alright," Helena assured. "What have you heard?"_

_Mena looked uncomfortable to say the least._

_"I really don't…"_

_"Please, tell me."_

_"I… I heard that… you were being kept in the tower for many years."_

_Helena nodded._

_"Yes, that's true." She paused and looked Mena in the eyes. "What I need right now is someone who I can trust. Can I trust you, Mena?"_

_"You can, my lady," she assured. "I swear to you, I'm at your service."_

_Helena nodded and smiled at her._

_"And I will be more than happy to reward you for your service."_

_Helena truly hoped that she could trust her maid. She had used to be very good with people and she had been called a great speaker, but now she was too afraid to even face people. She needed to leave this room._

_"Mena," she murmured after the maid had finished brushing and braiding her hair. "I need you to do something for me."_

_"Of course, my lady."_

_Helena swallowed and stood up._

_"I need you to give me your hand."_

_If the maid was confused by her request, she didn't show it, she simply obeyed. Helena took her hand and headed to the door. Every step made her legs shake more and her heart pound faster, but she didn't stop. Her hand was shaking as she raised it in order to open the door. It was open. Now all she had to do was step out. She couldn't. There was an invisible wall in front of her. The floor would swallow her. She couldn't breathe. Her heart was pounding like a drum. No. She would do this, no matter what. Just one step. Just one._

_"My lady?" Mena's voice called from somewhere far away._

_"Push me," Helena murmured._

_"Pardon?"_

_"Please, push me. I must leave this room."_

_Mena hesitated for a moment before obeying. The next thing Helena realized was that she was standing in the hallway. She was outside of the room. She had done it. With shaky legs she took few steps and broke into a snigger. She had done it. The floor hadn't swallowed her, everything was fine. She could go wherever she wanted to go. Mena accompanied her as she walked across the empty hallway. _

_Everything was well until she saw two guards walking towards her. Terror filled her immediately, she couldn't breathe. In that moment she was back in the tower again. She was lying on her bed, curled up into a fetal position. Tears were coursing down her cheeks; she was praying that he wouldn't come tonight. He smelled like sweat and ale. His hands were rough and callous._

_"Hello there, princess. Are you ready to play?"_

_Helena's legs couldn't hold her and she collapsed._

_"My lady!" Mena cried out._

_"What is wrong?" one of the guards asked._

_"Please, get Lord Tyrion!" Mena pleaded. "My lady is his niece."_

_One of the guards left with a hurry, the other one stayed. Helena was barely conscious, she felt Mena stroking her hair._

_"It's alright, my lady. Everything is going to be alright."_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 4**

_7 days earlier_

_Jon blinked his eyes, the bright sunlight almost blinded him as he, Tyrion and Ghost headed towards the garden. Yet it felt good to be outside, although the air didn't feel fresh in his lungs. He missed the cold winter air, the warmth still felt strange to him._

_"Such a beautiful day," Tyrion stated._

_"Aye," Jon murmured._

_"I thought you could use some fresh air."_

_"I would hardly call this air fresh."_

_Tyrion smiled._

_"Yes, this is quite different than northern air, but the warmth can be nice when you get used to it."_

_"Hmm."_

_Jon felt tense and tired, although he had managed to get some sleep last night. He had a headache and countless of things to do. Two guards were walking few steps behind him and Tyrion, following them like shadows. That was another thing Jon hadn't got used to yet. He couldn't go anywhere alone._

_"So, what was it you wanted to talk about?" Jon asked after a moment of silence._

_"Something quite important," Tyrion replied. "I understand this is a difficult subject, but it is also necessary."_

_"What is it?"_

_Tyrion hesitated for a brief moment before replying._

_"You need a wife, Jon."_

_Jon froze, he was sure that he had just misheard Tyrion._

_"What?"_

_"I know this is difficult, but please listen to me…"_

_"You can't be serious," Jon snapped. "How can you even…"_

_"I know," Tyrion replied sympathetically. "And believe me; I wouldn't bring this up, if this wouldn't be important."_

_"No," Jon muttered tensely. "I don't want to hear any more about this."_

_"I'm afraid you have to. Surely you understand that you need a wife and an heir…"_

_"I said I don't want to hear any more about this!" Jon snapped. "Someday perhaps, but not now or any time soon."_

_Tyrion was quiet for a moment before replying._

_"I know it's not fair, but you are the King now and that's not an easy position. You are a good man and a good king and I know you want what's best for your people."_

_"What difference does my marriage make for the people?" Jon snapped tensely. He wasn't going to talk about this, not when he had just lost the woman he had loved._

_"Your marriage means stability," Tyrion replied. "And it will give you a chance to unite your people."_

_Jon frowned._

_"How?"_

_"If you choose the right bride."_

_"And who would that be?"_

_"Helena is a daughter of a Baratheon and a Lannister. She is pretty and young; I have no doubt that she can give you an heir."_

_For a moment Jon was speechless._

_"Are you serious?" he finally managed to ask._

_"Very serious," Tyrion replied._

_"Have you even asked what she thinks?"_

_"Helena is a smart girl; I know she also wants what's best for the people. And I know she could help you with the nobles."_

_"I don't…"_

_"Please, Jon, think about this. That's all I ask."_

_Jon was about to say that there was nothing to think about when he noticed a guard running towards them. His guards stopped the man before he got anywhere near Jon and Tyrion._

_"Your Grace," the guard greeted him and bowed. "Forgive me; I have an urgent message to Lord Tyrion."_

_Tyrion walked over to the man who whispered something in his ear._

_"I see," Tyrion stated and turned to look at Jon. "Please excuse me, Your Grace; I must take care of this."_

_"Something serious?"_

_"No, no, a personal matter. Excuse me."_

_Jon stayed in the garden after Tyrion had left, he felt like taking a walk. The garden was too artificial for his liking, he preferred wild plants, but it was still nice to be outside. He looked at the sea and the city below him. For a brief moment he felt peaceful. Of course that moment didn't last for long, Tyrion's words returned to his mind. A marriage… _

_He didn't even want to think about that, but he had to admit that maybe Tyrion hadn't been completely wrong. From the political point of view, Helena Baratheon would be an ideal wife for him. From the personal point of view, he didn't want a wife. Yes, he was aware that he would have to get married sooner or later, but he preferred later. Much, much later. _

_Not to mention he hadn't even met this girl. No wait, he had. Many years ago in Winterfell. He remembered a vivacious, talkative girl with red cheeks and a big smile on her face. She had seemed very perky and confident as she had greeted Ned and Catelyn. She had also greeted the Stark children, including Jon, but he had only managed to reply with couple of murmured words. She had been 12 back then. Jon sighed and closed his eyes. He needed to go back inside and continue working. At least that would give him something else to think about._

* * *

_"What happened?" Tyrion asked, turning his eyes to the young maid._

_She looked nervous and perhaps even frightened._

_"I…I don't know, my lord. My lady and I were walking in the hallway and suddenly she just…fainted."_

_Tyrion looked at Helena; she was lying on the bed. The guard had carried her back to the guest chamber. At least she had finally left this room._

_"How did she seem? Was she nervous?"_

_"Yes, my lord, I believe so. But she was happy when she was outside."_

_Tyrion reminded himself that Helena needed time to recover. Being locked up for so many years would surely affect anyone. He needed to support her more than he had so far. She was a strong girl; he knew that she would get through this._

_"You can go," he said to the maid. "I will stay here with her."_

_"Yes, my lord."_

_Tyrion took Helena's hand and sat beside her. He remembered when she had been a little girl, maybe 5 or 6. Joffrey had claimed that a servant had stolen one of his gilded toy soldiers. Helena had defended the poor man in front of her mother and father. Cersei had been ready to have the servant flogged, but Robert had listened to his daughter. The toy soldier had been found from under Joffrey's bed. Helena had always been a kindhearted girl and she would be a great queen. Tyrion was determined to make sure that she would see that and marry Jon._


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 5**

_3 days earlier_

_Helena was tense and nervous as she cautiously looked outside through the window of the carriage. It had been so long since she had sat in a carriage. The movement still felt somehow calming, she had always enjoyed traveling. Right now she didn't enjoy it though, she would have preferred staying in the Red Keep._

_"It's alright," Tyrion stated calmingly. "You're safe, I promise."_

_Helena bit her bottom lip; she was ashamed of herself for being so weak. She didn't even want to imagine what people were talking about her after she had fainted in the middle of the hallway. Mena had assured her that she hadn't said anything to anyone, but Helena wasn't so sure about the guards. Her reaction to them had been ridiculous, but she hadn't been able to stop the panic. _

_What had happened in the tower… No. She wasn't going to think about it ever again. It had never happened. Thankfully she had pulled herself together during the last couple of days and managed to meet people, including men. Uncle Tyrion had been with her the whole time, she wasn't sure if she would have succeeded without him. _

_All the people she had met had been very polite to her and they had said they were glad she was unharmed. No one had said anything about the tower, but Helena was sure they knew where she had been. She had wandered across the hallways of the Red Keep, hoping to see someone she knew. Everything was so familiar and yet nothing was the same. _

_Her family was gone. Sweet little Tommen and dear Myrcella… Helena had gone to their old chambers, knowing that they weren't there. Yet some part of her had prayed for a miracle. She out of all people should know better than to believe in miracles. Nothing was the same and it never would be. She was a guest in the place she had used to call her home. _

_Not that she should complain, better a guest than a prisoner. Or dead. She should be grateful to the new king. Most men in his position would have surely executed her. She hadn't met him yet, but she would tonight. Tyrion had said that the King had asked to see her. She couldn't deny that the meeting made her nervous, although her uncle had assured her that she had nothing to worry about._

_"Could you tell me where we are going?" she asked after a moment of silence._

_"As I said, there's something I want to show you," Tyrion replied._

_"Where is that something?"_

_"Not far."_

_Helena sighed and gave up; clearly her uncle wasn't going to tell her where they were going. She trusted Tyrion more than anyone else, but she still didn't like this. He had assured her that this was very important, but still. She looked outside and saw the signs of battle everywhere. Destroyed houses, soldiers, beggars…_

_"Where are all the people who have lost their homes?" she asked._

_"We have tried to arrange shelter for them," Tyrion replied. "But as you can see, there is still a lot of work to do."_

_"Yes," Helena murmured. Once again she felt ashamed of herself for complaining. There were so many people who had suffered much more than she had. She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't even notice when the carriage stopped._

_"Alright, here we are," Tyrion said and opened the door._

_Cautiously Helena stood up and followed him. She flinched when a guard offered her his hand in order to help her out of the carriage. Thankfully she controlled herself quickly and managed to take his hand._

_"Thank you," she murmured, unable to face him. Instead she looked at the old sleazy house in front of her._

_"What… What is this place?"_

_"Let's go inside," Tyrion replied and headed to the door._

_Helena wanted to protest, but she followed him. An old woman opened the door and bowed at Tyrion._

_"My lord:"_

_"Good morning," Tyrion replied and waved his hand towards Helena. "This is my niece, Lady Helena Baratheon, Helena, this is Septa Norda."_

_"My lady," the old woman greeted her._

_"Honor to meet you," Helena replied. She was very confused; she couldn't understand what they were doing here._

_"Please, come in," Septa Norda stated._

_Helena noticed a wagon that had followed their carriage. It was full of sacks and baskets. Meat, bread, vegetables, potatoes… The guards began carrying the food inside._

_"Helena?" Tyrion called. "Come inside."_

_Quickly she turned to the door and joined her uncle._

_"What is…" she started, but didn't finish her sentence as she saw what was inside. Children. Countless of children. Some of them were sitting on the floor, others lying on blankets. They were so small; most of them probably hadn't even celebrated their 8th nameday._

_"This is an orphanage," Tyrion said. "All these children have lost their parents in the war."_

_Helena couldn't reply, she was on the brink of tears as she looked at the children. Poor innocent children._

_"How can I help?" she asked after a moment of silence._

_"You can help feeding them," Tyrion replied. "Talk to them, hold them, comfort them."_

_Helena nodded._

_"I'll do my best."_

_"I know," Tyrion said and patted her back. "You have always been a sweet girl."_

* * *

_Nine hours later they were finally heading back to the Red Keep. Tyrion could easily see that Helena was tired, but he believed that this day had truly opened her eyes. It was her duty to help the people. Help Jon to retain peace. She could do that and Tyrion was determined to make sure that she would._

_"War is a terrible thing," he stated after a long silence._

_"Yes," Helena murmured._

_"We must do everything we can for peace."_

_"I agree."_

_Tyrion hesitated for a moment before continuing._

_"Helena… About tonight…"_

_She didn't say anything, but he noticed her tensing._

_"The King will propose to you tonight."_

_Helena pressed her lips together and kept her eyes on the window._

_"He hasn't even met me, what if my appearance won't please him?"_

_"I'm sure it will. He wants to do what's best for his people and he needs your help. Will you say yes to him?"_

_Helena was quiet for a long while. Tyrion couldn't tell what she was thinking._

_"Yes, uncle," she finally murmured. "I will say yes to him."_


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 6**

_3 days earlier_

_Jon took a sip out of his wine goblet, eyeing the table in the small dining hall. Everything was ready for dinner, Tyrion and Lady Helena should arrive soon. This had felt like a proper place for the first meeting with his soon-to-be bride, but now Jon hesitated. Was he honestly planning to propose to a stranger?_

_Of course he understood the sacrifices all kings had to make, but this… He couldn't believe he had actually agreed to this. Tyrion had assured him that he was doing the right thing and deep down Jon knew that too. Right thing for the kingdom. What was right for him personally didn't matter. He needed a wife and as much as he would have wanted to postpone the decision, he had understood that he really couldn't do that._

_Many lords, merchants and other wealthy and powerful men had already approached him, offering their daughters, sisters or nieces to him as wives or mistresses. Even couple of servant girls had offered themselves to him, hoping to earn a place as his mistress. The whole thing made Jon uncomfortable and that was one of the reasons why he had decided to wed Lady Helena._

_The marriage would be useful and he wouldn't have to deal with these ambitious men and women anymore. Of course he needed the lady's consent first, even though Tyrion had assured him that she would say yes. Jon had caught a glimpse of her in the garden two days ago when she had been taking a walk with her uncle. Neither of them had noticed Jon, he had been standing in the balcony, observing Lady Helena._

_Jon couldn't deny that he wouldn't have been able to make his decision, if he wouldn't have seen her first. As Tyrion had said, she was a pretty young woman who had round face, long dark brown hair and green eyes. She was quite short, but he had noticed that she had a womanly body. There was nothing wrong with her appearance and he believed that he would be able to share a bed with her. Hopefully she would feel the same way about him._

_"Your Grace," a servant stated, cutting off Jon's thoughts. "Lord Tyrion and Lady Helena are here."_

_"Good," Jon murmured and rose up from his seat. "Good. Send them in."_

_"Yes, Your Grace."_

_Instinctively Jon touched his hair and cleared his throat. He hadn't really paid much attention to his appearance after becoming the King, but tonight he had tried to make himself look presentable. His personal servant Jareth had shaved him and combed his hair after he had taken a much needed bath._

_His tunic was dark blue; the tailors had made it especially for him. Tyrion had arranged him a brand new wardrobe, fit for a king. That was another thing Jon wouldn't have paid attention to, he hadn't had to think about his clothes before. Of course he had to now; he couldn't wear anything when he met nobles._

_"Your Grace," Tyrion greeted Jon as he and Lady Helena entered the room. "May I present my niece, Lady Helena Baratheon."_

_She kept her eyes on the floor as she curtsied._

_"Your Grace," she said quietly. Most of her long hair was down and she was wearing a light purple gown that complimented her curves, especially her bosom. A pretty girl indeed._

_Jon walked over to her and touched her small hand briefly with his lips._

_"My lady. I'm glad to finally meet you."_

_"I am honored to meet you, Your Grace," she replied. She still wasn't looking at him, he could sense her nervousness. Well, most women would probably be nervous in a situation like this._

_"Please," he said and gestured towards the table._

_"Thank you," she said as he pulled out a chair for her._

_Jon's place was at the end of the table, hers next to him. Tyrion sat on Jon's other side and thanked a servant who poured him wine._

_"What a day," he sighed. "Helena and I went to the orphanage today."_

_"Oh," Jon murmured._

_"Yes, poor little things. I was thinking that Helena could start aiding them on my behalf; I have so much work to do. Someone needs to organize the food deliveries and other things."_

_"Sure, that sounds good," Jon replied and looked at Lady Helena. "Is that what you want, my lady?"_

_"Yes, Your Grace," she said quietly. Her eyes were on her wine goblet, she seemed tense._

_Tyrion continued chatting as the dinner was being served. Clearly Lady Helena wasn't very talkative. She had changed a lot since Jon had met her in Winterfell. Of course she had, she had been a prisoner for years._

_"Are you satisfied with your chambers, my lady?" Jon asked when Tyrion stopped talking for a brief moment._

_"Yes, Your Grace, I am very grateful for your hospitality."_

_"This is your home, my lady; that haven't changed."_

_"Thank you, you are very kind."_

_"Oh no," Tyrion gasped and quickly stood up. "I forgot there's something I must do, please excuse me. I will be right back."_

_Jon almost rolled his eyes when Tyrion left the room. How subtle._

_"The stew is wonderful," Lady Helena said after a moment of silence._

_"Aye. The southern food isn't so bad."_

_"What is the northern food like, Your Grace?"_

_"Simpler," Jon replied."Many things in the north are simpler than here."_

_"I see. You have a heavy burden to bear."_

_"As we all."_

_They were both quiet for a long while until Jon finally continued._

_"I trust your uncle told you why I invited you here."_

_"Yes, Your Grace."_

_Jon bit his bottom lip and looked at her._

_"My lady… I want you to know that I wouldn't force you into anything, please speak freely. Is marrying me something you would be willing to consider?"_

_"Yes, Your Grace," she murmured, keeping her eyes on the table._

_"Could you please look at me?"_

_Slowly she looked up and met his gaze._

_"Is this marriage what you want?" he asked._

_She blinked and nodded._

_"It is, Your Grace."_

_"Alright." He paused and took a deep breath. "We don't know one another yet, but I believe we can do this together."_

_"I believe so too, Your Grace."_

_"You may call me Jon if we are to be married."_

_"Thank you… Jon."_

_Just like that it was done. This woman would be his wife. Jon emptied his goblet and tried his best to give his bride a polite smile. She smiled as well, but her smile was just as forced as his._


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 7**

Helena was exhausted after spending hours smiling and talking with people. She had struggled all night to hide her anxiety and distress. So far she had succeeded, but right now all she wanted was to go to her chamber and get some rest. Unfortunately she couldn't do that yet. The night wasn't over, all the lords and ladies wanted to meet their new king. Thankfully Uncle Tyrion had hosted the crowning celebration with Jon and Helena.

She glanced at her betrothed who was talking to Lady Sansa or Queen Sansa as she would soon be called. So would Helena. The thought was nothing but unreal. She would be the Queen. The King's wife. The mother of his children. He would come to her bed and… The thought made her shiver, she couldn't help it. He had been very polite to her, but she had no idea how she would get through that part of their marriage. How could she let him touch her?

She didn't want to be touched, not after what had happened in the tower. No, she needed to forget that. She would fulfill her duty. Somehow. Yet she couldn't deny that she was intimidated by him. He was a tall and muscular man. Stronger than her. A soldier. Just like… No, she needed to stop. Uncle Tyrion had assured her that he wasn't a cruel man. A gloomy man perhaps, but not cruel. Helena truly wanted to believe that. They had met three days ago and they hadn't really spent time together. Tonight they had barely had time to greet one another before the celebration had started.

"Helena?" Uncle Tyrion's voice suddenly said, startling her. "Is everything alright?"

"Yes," she assured, placing a smile on her face. "Everything is fine. I'm just a little tired."

"I'm sure you are. This has been a long day."

"Yes. Long but successful, I believe."

Tyrion nodded.

"Indeed. Our new King has done well. So have you, I might add."

"Thank you, uncle," Helena replied. Tyrion's presence calmed her a little, but she still had to struggle to keep the smile on her face. She wasn't sure how much longer she would be able to continue this. She really missed the privacy of her chamber.

"Excuse me," Tyrion said when someone called for him.

Helena asked a servant to bring her a glass of cold water, she was hot and thirsty. Couldn't this night be over already? She had spoken with all the members of the small council, lords, ladies and everyone who had wanted to meet her. It was strange really. This was the life she had used to lived, but it felt so foreign now.

She missed the silence and in a way she missed the solitude too. Not that she would ever want to be locked up again, but… Right now she was exhausted, she couldn't deny that. If only… Her thoughts were cut off when a young woman suddenly appeared in front of her. Helena startled, she had been too occupied to notice the woman.

"Lady Arya;" she greeted the woman, once again placing the polite smile on her face. "Good evening."

Her betrothed's cousin observed her for a brief moment before replying.

"Princess Helena."

"It's Lady Helena, Lady Arya," she corrected. "I'm not a princess anymore."

She had assumed that everyone knew that, but if she had understood correctly, Lady Arya wasn't at all interested in titles or etiquette. Or gowns apparently, she was wearing similar clothes than Ser Brienne.

"But you'll soon be a queen," Arya stated.

"Yes," Helena replied cautiously. "I was honored to accept His Grace's proposal."

"Why?" Arya asked sharply.

Her question stunned Helena.

"I beg your pardon?"

"Why did you agree to marry a man you barely know?"

She certainly wasn't subtle.

"Well… His Grace and I both believe that our union will benefit the kingdom."

Arya frowned.

"Is that all?"

"Forgive me, I don't quite understand…"

"Jon is my brother," Arya cut in firmly. "I won't let him be miserable."

Helena stared at her for a moment before she managed to reply.

"I see," she stated as calmly as she could. "And you believe I will make him miserable?"

"You're Cersei Lannister's daughter," Arya replied simply. "Are you like her?"

"I don't believe that my mother and I have much in common. I will try my hardest to be a good wife for His Grace."

Arya observed Helena for a long while before replying.

"Alright, I'll give you a chance."

"Thank you…"

"But know this." Arya paused and leaned towards Helena. "If you make my brother miserable, I will make _you_ miserable. And believe me, you don't want that."

"I believe you," Helena replied sincerely.

"Good. We understand each other then."

Helena nodded.

"Yes, we do."

Arya turned around and marched away. Helena was grateful when the servant returned with the glass of water. Clearly Lady Arya wasn't very happy about Jon's decision to wed Helena. She wondered was that how everyone saw her. Cersei Lannister's daughter. Of course Helena had seen how unhappy her parents had been in their marriage. Could she expect anything more when she was already afraid of her betrothed? It didn't matter. She would find a way to fulfill her duty to him. Thankfully she didn't have to worry about that yet. Right now she really needed to lie down.

"Pardon me, You Grace," she said as she walked over to him. He was still talking with Lady Sansa.

"Yes, my lady?" he asked as he turned to look at Helena.

"With your permission, I would like to retire."

"Yes, yes, of course. May I escort you to your chamber?"

"I don't wish to bother you…"

"It would be my pleasure," he assured and offered her his arm.

She smiled and wrapped her arm around his.

"Please excuse me, Lady Sansa," she said.

"Of course. It was a pleasure to meet you again."

"You too. Good night."

"Good night."

Lady Sansa had changed just as much as Lady Arya. When Helena had first met them all those years ago, Sansa had been a carefree young lady and Arya a wild little girl. Now Sansa was a serious and respected leader and Arya a fierce warrior. And Helena… She was a pathetic shadow of the person she had used to be.

"Is everything alright?" Jon suddenly asked.

Helena hadn't even noticed that they were in the corridor already.

"Yes, Your Grace, thank you. I do apologize for leaving already…"

"No need to apologize. Thank you for all your help today."

"I'm glad if I was able to be useful."

"You were more than useful," he assured. "Thank you."

"You are welcome, Your Grace."

"Please, Jon. We are alone now."

Helena hadn't noticed that. The corridor was quiet; there was no one there apart from them and two members of the Kingsguard who kept their distance.

"About the wedding," Jon continued after a moment of silence. "I spoke with the members of the small council and all of them thought that it would be smart to arrange the wedding ceremony now when all the lords and ladies are already here. Would that be alright?"

Helena felt a lump in her throat, but somehow she managed to nod.

"That… That sounds like a practical plan, Your… Jon."

"Yes," he murmured. "I realize this comes sooner than either of us expected."

"How soon would that be?"

"After few days. There are all kinds of preparations."

"Yes, of course."

They walked silently to the door that led to Helena's chamber. Jon cleared his throat before raising her hand to his lips.

"Good night, Helena."

"Good night, Jon."


	9. Chapter 9

**Warning, mature content**

* * *

**Chapter 8**

"With this kiss, I pledge my love."

Jon heard himself saying the words everyone expected him to say, but he couldn't really recognize his own voice. He had barely slept at all last night and as usual, he had started his day with wine. He needed it, especially today. Somehow he needed to get through this day. His wedding day. It was too soon. He had hoped for a much longer engagement.

Why had he agreed to arrange the wedding now? People had kept telling him how practical that would be. Practical… What a wonderful reason to get married. Apparently he had already got through most of the ceremony. The southern ceremony. He was the King, so that was expected of him. Not that it really mattered. For a moment he was sure that he was dreaming. None of this was real. He wasn't standing beside a woman he barely knew, vowing his love for her.

"Your Grace?" the septon said quietly. People still waited for him to kiss his bride.

That brought Jon back to reality, he wasn't dreaming. He had just married the woman beside him. Helena Baratheon. She looked at him somewhat cautiously as he leaned towards her and touched her lips with his. The kiss was brief and awkward, but a roomful of people was still clapping and cheering at them.

"Long live the King and the Queen!"

Jon took his newlywed wife's hand and forced a smile on his face as he turned to look at his subjects. His wife was smiling as well; she kept her hand in Jon's as he led them out of the hall. The wedding feast was waiting for them in the grand dining hall; it was unlike anything Jon had ever seen before. Thousands of candles and lanterns lighted the hall and the long tables had been decorated with flowers.

Servants were hurrying to the kitchen and back, carrying countless trays full of all kinds of foods. Musicians were already playing, but they stopped and bowed as Jon and Helena entered the hall. This certainly was too much, Jon had wanted much more modest wedding. Not that he could complain now, he hadn't participated in the wedding arrangements in any way. Silently he led his wife to their table and pulled out a chair for her.

"Thank you, Your Grace," she murmured.

It didn't take long before the hall was full of people, many of them eager to congratulate their King and Queen personally. There were toasts after toasts, speeches after speeches. Jon emptied one wine goblet after another, but he didn't feel any better. The truth was that he hated every moment of this. Once again he bitterly thought how little he had wanted any of this. He had never wanted the Iron Throne. It didn't belong to him, it belonged to Daenerys. No, he couldn't think about her, not now.

"Congratulations, Jon," Sansa said.

Her voice startled him out of his thoughts; he hadn't noticed her standing in front of him. Quickly he stood up and greeted her warmly.

"Thank you."

Sansa looked like a true queen in her purple gown. She was smiling at him, but her smile was somewhat reserved, especially when she glanced at Helena while congratulating her as well.

"Thank you, my lady," Helena replied.

Jon realized that he had almost forgotten her, she had been so quiet. She was the Queen now, but so far she wasn't acting like one. Not that Jon blamed her, she was probably nervous.

"You look nice," he stated after Sansa had left.

The truth was that he hadn't really looked at his wife, not even during the ceremony. She was wearing a cream color wedding gown and she had white flowers in her hair.

"Thank you, Your Grace."

Jon smiled and touched her hand. The gesture felt forced, but he wanted to do at least something to reassure her. She smiled too and twined her fingers over and between his. Thankfully she seemed calm. More and more people came to congratulate them. Arya hugged him, Bronn patted his shoulder and joked about the upcoming night, Sam wished him all the happiness in the world, Davos complimented Helena, Tyrion told him to be a good husband and so on.

And his wife simply smiled the whole time. She didn't seem nervous at all. Again Jon was glad about that. He had drunk more wine than he had intended and it had made him comfortably numb. Finally some of the men cheered for the bedding, but both Jon and Tyrion stopped them right away. Jon stood up as his wife left the hall, accompanied by few noblewomen and maids. He knew that they were going to prepare her for the wedding night.

He drank some more wine before heading to his bedchamber. The whole small council, as well as couple of other nobles, joined him. Apparently it was customary to escort the King to his chamber on his wedding night. Jon had heard that back in the old days, the whole court would have watched the King and Queen to consummate their marriage. Thankfully that wasn't the case anymore. The noblewomen who had accompanied Helena were already standing in front the door to Jon's chamber; they curtsied as Jon approached them.

"May the gods bless you with a son, Your Grace," one of them said.

"Yes," Jon murmured, hoping to have some privacy already.

One of the guards opened the door and bowed respectfully as Jon entered his chamber. He was nothing but relieved when the door finally closed. Helena was standing beside the bed, she was wearing a long white nightgown and her hair was down. She was still smiling.

"Well…" Jon stated after a brief moment of silence. "That was a long day."

"Yes, Your Grace."

"Jon," he corrected and paused for a moment. His eyes were looking for some wine, but it seemed that there was none in the room. "Is everything alright?"

She nodded, still smiling.

"Yes."

He sighed before walking over to her.

"Helena… I know you must be nervous…"

"I'm not," she assured.

"Alright… Good. Perhaps we should…" _Get this over with._ Thankfully he managed to stop himself before saying that out loud. It seemed that he really had drunk too much. "Since it is expected."

She nodded, still smiling.

"Yes."

He cleared his throat and touched her hair before cupping her chin. She really was short; he had to lean down in order to kiss her. As he closed his eyes, he was kissing someone else. Dany. He buried his fingers in her silky white hair, tasted the fire in her soft lips, felt her perfect body pressing eagerly against him. He removed her nightgown and threw it on the floor in one swift motion. Dany. He circled his arm around her waist and his lips crashed against hers again as they fell on the bed. He landed on top of her, his lips still devouring hers.

"_Jon…"_

He smiled as he heard her calling his name. How he had missed her voice. She was here now and he wasn't going to ever let her go again. His hands explored every part of her body, caressing her beautiful breasts and touching the soft and sensitive folds between her legs. He wanted to give her pleasure, make her wet for him.

"_Jon…"_

Her sensual moans turned him on even more; he needed to have her right now. Quickly he unbuckled his belt and spread her legs, but suddenly he realized that something wasn't right.

"Stop! Please, I'm begging you!"

What?

"Please!"

He blinked his eyes and stared at the woman beneath him. She was weeping hysterically; her green eyes were looking at him pleadingly. Helena.

"Please, Your Grace," she sobbed. "I can't… I'm sorry… Please…"

For a moment Jon was too shocked to react, his mouth floundered open and closed. What had he done?


	10. Chapter 10

**Warning, mature content**

* * *

**Chapter 9**

Helena's whole body was trembling and tears were still rolling down her cheeks, no matter how hard she tried to stop crying. She needed to stop right now. She needed somehow to fix the damage she had done. If it could be fixed. _Stop it. Stop it, you stupid girl. Control yourself._ After a long struggle, she finally succeeded. Yet it took a moment before she dared to look at her husband. He was sitting on a chair, silently staring at the wine bottle a servant had just brought for him. Helena was still on the bed, she had wrapped a blanket tightly around her naked body.

"Your Grace?" she murmured timidly.

He didn't say anything; he simply stared at his bottle. She swallowed, fearing that she had ruined everything. How stupid was she? After managing to control herself the whole awful day, she had ruined the most important part. She had stopped her husband from consummating their marriage. That was more than enough reason for him to abandon her. Their whole marriage could be annulled because of her ridiculous break down. She had failed to perform her duty as his wife. No man would stand that.

"Your Grace?" she repeated.

No answer. Carefully she got out of the bed, although her legs were shaking a little. She kept the blanket around her as she cautiously approached her husband. All she could do now was beg for his forgiveness. After a brief moment of hesitation, she knelt before him.

"Please forgive me, Your Grace," she pleaded quietly.

"No," he murmured and stood up. Her first thought was that he was going to hit her, but she forced herself not to cover her face. She would deserve this.

"No, no."

She flinched when he suddenly grabbed her arm.

"Please, stand up," he stated tensely and helped her to her feet. "Don't apologize:"

She was confused, but she nodded.

"As you wish, Your Grace."

He pressed his lips together and ran his fingers through his hair while pacing back and forth in front of the fireplace.

"I know that I disappointed you," she started when he didn't say anything. Summoning all her courage, she dropped the blanket on the floor and silenced the small panicky voice in her head. "May I please have another chance?"

He stopped pacing and looked at her.

"Helena, I don't blame you for anything," he murmured. "I was the one who wronged you."

"No, Your Grace, no, you didn't do anything wrong," she assured quickly. "I… I was just…a little nervous, that's all. I'm fine now, I swear."

"_Hello, princess. Did you miss me?"_

No. No. Go away. It never happened.

"_Oh come on, smile for me, beautiful. I'm here to play with you…"_

"Are you saying that I didn't hurt you?"

"_You love this, don't you?"_

No. You are a monster and I hate you.

"Helena?"

She forced herself to concentrate. Not now. This wasn't the time or place for another break down.

"No, Your Grace, you didn't hurt me."

Her husband seemed relieved as he walked over to her. She wanted to cover herself, but she knew she couldn't do that. He had every right to see her body.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yes, Your Grace:"

"Good," he sighed and picked up the blanket. "Here."

She shook her head.

"I am ready to continue."

"No, I don't think that would be…"

"Please, Your Grace," she cut in before she would lose all her courage. This needed to happen tonight, she knew that. Lingering would only make this worse. Make her fear worse. She needed to get through this before she would break down again.

He hesitated, biting his bottom lip.

"Are you sure?"

She placed a smile on her face and nodded.

"Yes, Your Grace."

"Jon."

"Jon," she repeated and walked over to the bed. She could do this, she had to. This time she couldn't make a sound, no matter what she felt. Just a moment on her back, then it would be over. He would be pleased and she would have fulfilled her duty. Her husband looked at her as she lied down. Slowly he approached the bed.

"If you are sure…"

"I am."

He nodded and started to undress himself. She blinked nervously, but she forced herself to glance at him. She wanted to know what to expect. That was a mistake. He was big. Too big. She was afraid to even think about the pain he would cause her. It didn't matter. She needed to take this and stay quiet.

Her husband's fingers touched her cheek as he crawled beside her. She smiled, assuring him that he could proceed. His kisses hadn't felt bad before and they didn't feel bad now, although he tasted like wine. She feared the smell of alcohol, but at least he wasn't rough or forced his tongue into her mouth. His hands began to roam over her body as his mouth left a trail of kisses along her jaw to her ear.

Everything was fine. Everything was fine. Everything was fine. She controlled herself now and she could do this.

His mouth lowered to her breasts, his lips closing around her nipple. She gasped, expecting pain. It didn't come; instead he gently sucked both of her breasts while his hand went between her legs. She braced herself, knowing what would happen now. Thankfully her panic paralyzed her, preventing her from resisting him in any way.

It took a moment before she realized that he didn't force his fingers into her, he simply used them to rub her. It felt strange; she didn't understand why he was doing this. As he continued, she started to feel something even stranger. Something was happening inside of her; she felt pressure low in her stomach.

A strange noise escaped her lips and she felt her hips arching against his hand. Her shaking fingers clutched at the sheets as she desperately tried to control herself. She failed miserably, crying out as her body was suddenly shuddering and her muscles flexing. What had he done to her? She was still shaking when he climbed on top of her, pinning her against the bed. She felt his hard member pressing against her thigh.

"Are you ready?" he asked, caressing her cheek with his fingers.

Somehow she managed to nod. Slowly he pushed himself in, his thumb stroking her cheek. The sharp pain made her body tense, but she didn't make a sound.

"It's alright;" her husband murmured soothingly. "Try to relax."

She couldn't, but she was proud of herself for not shedding a single tear. He began moving, slowly at first, then faster. Judging by the noises he was making, he was enjoying this. She only felt the ache between her legs, but the pain wasn't unbearable. Her husband was breathing faster and faster until he finally spilled his seed into her. After catching his breath, his closed eyes opened to meet hers.

"Are you alright?"

A brief nod was all she could give him. Carefully he pulled out of her and collapsed beside her. It was over.


End file.
